Can We Quit, Please???? (Part 2 of my 5-year twins’ basketball experience)

Last Saturday, my twins (daughter and son) played in their first basketball game and I wrote about it my previous post. It was not a good experience for my kids or ME for that matter (Click here to read it if you haven’t already)! It had nothing to do with the program itself, which is awesome by the way, but everything to do with me, my children and my expectations of them. I’ve said to a few readers that it would be better this week because dad will be with them this time.  Well….I was wrong; it was BAD. Really BAD… like Donald Trump’s latest speeches, BAD. And the game ended with me running out of gym searching for my daughter, who ran off of the court seeming to have disappeared into the thin air. She was hiding in the bathroom. When we finally found our missing daughter, we loaded up the car and I could no longer hold back!  The waterworks of frustration spilled and the words came shortly after. Frustrated because my son and daughter are struggling and mom could not help. Essentially because daddy is the one who coaches and mom needs to tend to the younger brother and sister.

During the dreaded ride home, I explained to my husband that playing a full court, 5 on 5 game with whistles and buzzers on 8 foot goals is too much for OUR children right now. As if, my son’s twirling around in circles not knowing if he’s on defense or offense and only touching the ball once because his experienced teammates realize he has no clue what he’s doing. I hoped that my daughter hanging on his leg the whole game (with her pink fall jacket on) and running off of the court in tears wasn’t enough evidence. I would cringe every time I heard one of the players uncles yelling at him, asking if he was slow (mentally delayed) or something every time he did the opposite of what he’d instructed. You see, I’ve coached children this age before and learned that all children are on different levels and need certain drills, training, and attention before you put them in a full blown game.  It crushes their confidence when they can’t even touch the ball, have no idea what to do with it, and shot gets no where near the end of the net let alone the rim! The experience becomes traumatic and they will lose interest before they could even improve. *sigh*

I really wanted to believe that it would be better today. Maybe I was just trying to be optimistic because I didn’t think any experience could be worse than last weeks. I mean, what’s worse than parents yelling at their kids from the sideline, rolling their eyes at the clock keeping mom (me), my kids crying and running off the court and a leader in the program telling you that they think they still give out ‘Most Improved’ awards. Allowing our kids to play in these games were like throwing them in the deep water for the first time and telling them to swim. Watching them gasp for air as they bob up and down with the fear of death in their eyes, bound to drown… I guess there’s still this microscopic fragment of hope that my kids will eventually develop an early interest in mommy and daddy’s favorite sport. My son is still clueless but at least he’s staying in the game. As a mom and former coach, it’s very difficult to watch this happen and the only thing I can do is try to encourage them and practice later.

Maybe I looking to deeply into thus but I just feel as parents, we must strive to be the best advocates for our children (especially at this young age) not humiliate them. Our children rely on us to always have their best interest and if we get caught up in what we desire for them, without even considering their gifts, talents and interests, we deprive them of reaching their full potential. I don’t want to encourage them to become professional quitters like their mama has been said to be, but I think we do need to teach them that it’s okay to postpone certain things in your life. I have no idea what we are going to do about our twins because it has to be a mutual agreement between my husband and I, however, I’m pretty sure from the tone of this post I’ve made my opinion crystal clear that postponing could be the best course of action. Where’s a parenting manual when you need one!

If you’re a parent I would love to here your opinion on the topic. Share (in the comment section below) some of your experiences of having your children compete in athletics between the ages of 5-7.

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Author: nwicks123

A woman after God's own ❤️...

6 thoughts on “Can We Quit, Please???? (Part 2 of my 5-year twins’ basketball experience)”

  1. I remember my ex husband coaching 5 year olds, unfortunately the season started while my son was 4, he turned 5 with 3 games to spare. Because his daddy was the coach he was allowed to “practice” with the team. This really annoying kid reminded me every practice that he was a “baby” and couldn’t play for real. The first game after his birthday he was ready, he suited up in a jersey two sizes too big and his his fresh pair of over priced Jordans And hit the court. Long story short for 4 quarters he ran up and down the court sometimes in the wrong direction, travelled, fought his own teammates for the ball, waved to me twice even blew me a kiss, and never made a shot. After the game little Mr. Know it All from the team told me they lost because of my son. Stooping to his level (literally) and reminding him that those games are scoreless and no one loses. My tone really said shut the hell up you’re no Michael Jordan no matter what your mom tells you. Needless to say my baby’s basketball debut didn’t looked like I had envisioned. Over the next year we bought every size basketball and had him practicing daily preparing for the next season. The first game of the next season not only was he ready but so was I. I borrowed a video camera remember the big cameras that sat on your shoulder and used full size VHS tapes, yes had it. I had a t-shirt that said “My son is #3” on the front and the team mascot and my boys name on the back. This was not a drill people we was ready! My boy showed up and showed out, he scored 22 pets of a scoreless game (I counted). He was the man. Basketball has always been his sport, football was another story.

    I registered him for football because everybody said he needed to lay a sport. He played football for 3 days the longest 3 days of his life. In those 3 days he ran into people attempting to tackle them however he is the only one who fell. He was drugged 3-5 yards while he held onto his opponents leg. He never caught the ball, therefore he never ran anywhere either. On the 3rd day he put on his uniform helmet and all and cried the ugly cry as he begged me to let him quit. I didn’t want him to be a quitter not to mention there was no refund on the hefty registration fee either. However I eventually gave in when the coach came to my car (where I was hiding) and told me he was in danger of being hurt because he sucked so badly. Thanks my quick thinking and Shout I was to get the grass stains out of the uniform and return it for a full refund. He has never touched a football again.

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    1. Rory I’m over here crying 😂😂😂😂😂 because I can see it all happening just as you described it. The nerve of some of these parents helps me understand why the kids have no respect for others. Jamal was so cute. I’m glad he was successful in Bball because football is too dangerous now days. I saw the movie Concussion 😐.

      BJ is getting better. He’s starting to understand the concept but he’s still confused. Byron’s not going to let me pull them off the team so I guess All I could do is pray about it at this point. I bought Naomi a pink basketball after the game and she seems more interested now. Hoping for a better game next week. I just want Naomi to actually stay in the game and BJ was a little discouraged because everyone around them are big and good. But I think he’ll come around soon just hoping he can at least score a basket to gain more confidence.

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      1. Awe… Keish that was using wisdom when you bought Naomi a pink ball. I say don’t let them quick, just practice with them as much as possible this week before the game. Do some fun basketball written exercises that they can understand and afterwards allow them to demonstrate it in action. For now on don’t allow yourself to leave frustrated, disappointed, embarrassed or angry. We have experienced simple minded adults for years so this isn’t new. The twins have never played before and this is preparation for them. Next week you leave that gym in dignity and encouraged knowing that this is just a stepping stone for our babies and this too shall pass. I think I want to come to the game and please pray the I walk in the spirit. Lol

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  2. Im getting to this blog latr. But Oh my goodness I put my 3yr old in soccer….dot dot dot I mean those could go on forever. The age group was 2-4. I figured they all would learn together. Wrong. We bought all the fancy soccer gear for our pretty little girl to run the opposite direction, to run to us, to sit down and to cry. I swear ALL the other kids knew what they were doing. I mean the parents must really have been busy. Sigh..we made it to a couple games and stopped. She was more intrested in playing in the middle of the other games. We put her in again when she was 6. Her cousin was with her and her uncle coached. This was much easier but she she still didn’t like it. Her father and I really wanted her to love soccer but she didn’t. She is 13 now and I can tell you she did like viola, dance, bjj, cheerleading and piano. She however did not like soccer or basketball or softball. We had to let her be her. It’s really not worth pushing them or hoping when they’re just not there yet. For what it is worth I’d say let them show you where they’re interests are.

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    1. Lol! I love your little girl and she’s a great dancer! My view is the same as yours Tania but hubby will not relent. The twins are still on the team. Notice I said on the team but not ‘playing’… lol It’s all good though. We’ll see what happens as they get older…

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